Neopronouns: Xe/Xem, Ze/Zir, Fae/Faer Explained

LGBTQIA couple lying

We're Delwin and Jimmy, co-founders of Proud Zebra, a queer-owned Canadian small business. Among our customers we've shipped pronoun pins for they/them, he/him, she/her, xe/xem, ze/zir, fae/faer, and "any pronouns", and the most common question we get from people new to pronoun pins is the same one: what are neopronouns, and how do I actually use them? This piece is the deep-dive answer. For the broader guide to all pronoun usage, start with our pronouns and allyship guide first.

What are neopronouns?

Neopronouns ("neo" meaning new) are gender-neutral pronouns that exist outside the standard English set of he, she, and singular they. They serve the same grammatical function as those words but don't carry the same gender associations. A person who uses xe/xem isn't using a stand-in for he or she; xe/xem is the pronoun.

People use neopronouns for several reasons. Some find that they/them, while gender-neutral, feels too plural-coded or grammatically clunky in their own ear. Some want a pronoun set that signals their non-binary identity more distinctly than they/them does. Some have a strong personal preference for the sound, rhythm, or feel of a particular set. And some people use a combination, accepting both they/them and a neopronoun set, or rotating between sets in different contexts.

Neopronouns are most commonly used by non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, and otherwise gender-non-conforming people, but they aren't restricted to any one identity. The pronoun is a personal preference, not an identity badge on its own.

What are the most common neopronoun sets? (neopronouns list and neopronoun examples)

The five neopronoun sets you're most likely to encounter, with their full declensions. Each row of the table is one complete neopronoun example, and below the table you'll find neopronouns examples sentences for each set so you can read them out loud to drill the pattern:

Pronoun Pin Lineup

Beyond these five, dozens of other sets exist in regular community use, including ae/aer, ne/nem, ve/ver, and a category sometimes called "nounself pronouns" (where the set is built from a noun the person identifies with, bun/bunself, star/starself). For a more exhaustive list, Pronouns.page maintains a community-edited reference of every documented set.

When did neopronouns start being used?

The earliest English-language neopronoun proposal in the historical record is "thon" (a contraction of "that one"), proposed by American composer Charles Crozat Converse in 1858. Thon was added to Funk & Wagnalls Standard Dictionary in 1898 and remained in print editions until 1964, over a century of dictionary recognition before falling out of common use.

The 1970s saw a wave of new proposals. In 1970, Mary Orovan proposed "co" as a gender-neutral alternative; "co" remains in use today in some intentional communities, including the Twin Oaks community in Virginia. In 1975, journalism teacher Christine M. Elverson submitted "tey/tem/ter" to a Chicago Tribune contest seeking a gender-neutral pronoun, and won. In 1976, novelist Marge Piercy used "per" (derived from "person") throughout her science fiction novel Woman on the Edge of Time, where the future society uses it as standard.

The Spivak pronouns (ey/em/eir) were popularized in mathematician Michael Spivak's 1990 textbook The Joy of TeX, which used them throughout to refer to the reader. They later spread through online communities, particularly text-based virtual worlds like LambdaMOO in the early 1990s, and remain one of the most widely-used neopronoun sets today.

The point is simple: when somebody insists neopronouns are a "new fad", they are off by roughly 170 years. Gender-neutral pronoun proposals predate the smartphone, the personal computer, and most living memory.

"Stunning, sleek design! These beautifully crafted badges show off my pronouns with the right amount of shine and class. I feel super fancy when I wear them."
Vik S., on the They/Them pronoun pins

They and Them Pronoun Hard Enamel Pin

How do you actually use neopronouns in a sentence? (neopronoun example sentences)

The grammar is the easy part. Each set works exactly the same way as he/him or she/her, same four slots, same sentence structures. Practice helps. The neopronoun example sentences below show one full sentence per set so you can hear how each one lands in everyday English.

xe / xem. "Xe brought xyr lunch to work today, but xe forgot to share it with me. Xe ate it all by xemself."

ze / zir. "Ze said ze was going to take zir bike to the store. Ze rode zirself there in under ten minutes."

fae / faer. "Fae loves faer new haircut. Faer friends agree it suits faer perfectly. Fae cut it faerself."

ey / em (Spivak). "Ey told me eir favourite movie of the year. I trust em, ey watches more films than anyone I know, and ey watches them all by emself."

per / per. "Per said per would meet us at the cafe. Per brought pers laptop and worked there until late, perself."

If you stumble at first, that's normal. Practice with low stakes: read the example sentences out loud, narrate something a person did using their pronouns, or describe a character in a book using neopronouns to drill the patterns. Most pronoun-set fluency comes from repetition, not memorization.

She and They Pronoun Hard Enamel Pin

How do you respond to common pushback about neopronouns?

Three objections come up often. Each has a clean factual response.

"They're new and made up." "Thon" was in Funk & Wagnalls dictionary from 1898 to 1964. Spivak pronouns date to 1990. "Per" has been in published fiction since 1976. The objection assumes neopronouns appeared with social media; the historical record disagrees.

"They're confusing, I can't keep them straight." Most neopronoun sets follow the same four-slot structure as standard English pronouns, and the patterns are no more complex than learning a new name for someone. People who claim they can't possibly learn xe/xem usually manage to learn the names of new colleagues, fictional characters, and pets without difficulty. The barrier is willingness, not capacity.

"You can't just invent pronouns." English has been adding and dropping pronouns for centuries. "You" used to be exclusively plural, with "thou" as the singular, until "thou" fell out of standard use and "you" took both jobs. Singular "they" appears in Shakespeare and Chaucer. Pronoun sets have always evolved with the people using them.

If you want a longer rebuttal of the "this is too new" framing, our 10 misconceptions about the LGBTQ+ community piece covers the "this is all just a recent trend" objection at the wider community level.

Rainbow Love is Love LGBTQ+ allyship graphic

How is using neopronouns different from using they/them?

They/them is one gender-neutral option; neopronoun sets are others. The differences are matters of personal preference and grammatical feel, not hierarchy.

Some people prefer they/them because it already exists in mainstream English and slides into conversation without education overhead. Some prefer a neopronoun because they/them carries a plural connotation in their own ear, or because it doesn't feel personally distinct enough. Some use both, listing "they/xe" or "she/fae" on their pronoun page so others can use whichever feels natural.

The respectful default with anyone is: use what they tell you they use. If a person lists xe/xem on their bio, social media, or pronoun pin, use xe/xem. If they list multiple sets, you can rotate between them or pick one and stick with it (unless they specify otherwise). When in doubt, ask once, then act.

He and They Pronoun Hard Enamel Pin

"These pins are super high quality, and all of the designs are amazing. My favorite is this one because it's quite geometric and I love math. It's a great way to subtly show off my enby Pride at school (I've pinned it to my backpack)."
Claire M., on the Non-Binary Freedom Cube pin

Frequently asked questions

Pronouns are a small word, used a thousand times a day

Pronouns might be the smallest words in the English language, but they're also among the most-used. A person hears their pronouns dozens or hundreds of times a day in conversations about them, and the cumulative effect of being referred to correctly is real. The cumulative effect of being referred to incorrectly is also real, in the other direction.

If you've made it this far in a piece on neopronouns, you're probably either someone who uses them, knows someone who does, or wants to be a better ally to someone who might. Whichever it is, the same principle applies: use the pronouns the person tells you they use, learn the four forms, practice in low-stakes contexts, and don't make a production of it when you slip.

If you'd like to mark visible pronoun support, we offer pronoun pins covering the major sets, plus identity flag pins for non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, and adjacent identities. Browse our full pride pins collection, the non-binary and genderqueer guide for related identity context, the genderfluid guide for the closely-paired identity, or our straight ally guide for the broader allyship piece. For the wider pride flag picture, our complete guide to pride flags is the umbrella reference.

Since 2020 we've donated $10,219.58 CAD to LGBTQ+ charities including Rainbow Refugee, Covenant House Vancouver, BC pride societies, and our charity-pin partners (GLSEN, Out on Screen, CBRC, UNYA, and previously Sayoni). Whichever pronouns you use, we're glad you're here.

Delwin and Jimmy